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Self Regulation, Trauma Recovery and Hawaiian Healing

Updated: Oct 19, 2023

How can Ho'oponopono and Lomilomi Assist with Self Regulation & Trauma Recovery?

Many people need help with Self Regulation. Every area in our life is affected by our ability to regulate our way of responding to the things that come our way. When we experience trauma throughout life, we unconsciously react to the things we encounter that remind us of the trauma. The reaction results in our nervous system becoming triggered, and our body becoming hyper aroused or hypo aroused.

When we are hyper aroused, we go into fight or flight, resulting in an elevated state, such as anxiety, anger, fear, wanting to react aggressively or emotionally, or wanting to run away.

When we are hypo aroused, we become disassociated. We pull away and withdraw. We disconnect from our emotions and we go into a depressed state. We numb ourselves, and we shut down. One way to explain this is to look at the Model of the Window of Tolerance.

The Window of Tolerance:

Here is an example of how this works in someone’s life:

This person had a very explosive father when they were young. They froze, became very quiet, and cowered in the corner when their father exploded in anger. Listening to their father yelling, they remember feeling rather numb and shutting down, unable to say or do anything. Now, as an adult, this same person freezes when they encounter confrontation. They have a hard time standing up to people while in conflict situations.

On an unconscious level they are drawn to this type of person in their relationships. They seem to keep ending up with controlling, dominating, and over-powering people. They are currently experiencing some trouble with their current boyfriend, who is also someone who loses his temper easily.

Over the years, they have developed some issues with their knees and hips. They have been quite sore in the last while, so they decide to come for a Hawaiian healing session.

Ho'oponopono ~ To Bring Harmony

Hawaiian healing uses Ho’oponopono, a process for releasing judgments and forgiving emotional pain. Ho’oponopono is done to create right relationship, and to bring harmony and goodness into our lives.

In a Ho’oponopono session, we would begin by having the client acknowledge what is happening in their relationship, and how that is making them feel. The client must acknowledge the feelings of hurt, fear, anger and guilt. They must look at what is triggering them, and take responsibility for the role they are playing. In ho’oponopono the client would be invited to forgive themselves for the role they are playing in their relationship dynamic with their boyfriend. Then, I would have them forgive themselves for any beliefs they are holding about themselves, or any negative beliefs they are holding about relationships.

They can forgive themselves for holding the beliefs that don’t serve them. They may then wish to forgive their parents or other caregivers from childhood who helped form these patterns and beliefs through out their life.

The breath is used in a ho’oponopono session to bring the higher frequency energy of Spirit into the body, to assist the body in bringing its energy into balance.

Breath helps with self regulation because it helps to bring balance to the nervous system. Breathing can assist to bring yourself out of fight or flight, and into a more calm, balanced state.

The client may wish to also forgive their boyfriend for his role in the dynamic. In a ho’oponopono session, one sees the innocence of the other by seeing their High Self, as well as their innocent inner child. The inner child of the boyfriend may be acting out due to his own childhood issues.

The client could begin to view the situation as though their High Self chose the High Self of the boyfriend, to come into their life to give them an opportunity to face this issue in order to heal themselves and evolve.

The client can then begin to look at the things that they learned from having this challenge in their life. They can look at how they want to respond in the future when triggered. They can also visualize the way they want to feel in their relationships, and visualize healthy relationships coming into their life.

Lomilomi - To Remove What Does not Belong

After clearing the mind and the emotions with Ho’oponopono, the bodywork is done. Lomilomi is a combination of massage, assisted stretching and energy work. Lomilomi brings new energy into the body with love, and clears out old, lower energies from the body. The old energy is associated with the stress, pain fear and trauma of the past. The new energy is associated with love, the truth, and the new patterns that are being called in.

In a lomilomi session, the practitioner will join with the client to bring the energy of love, grace and forgiveness into their hips and knees. The client can speak to their body, asking their body to forgive and release any energy that it is carrying that is not serving it. The client breathes in their lomilomi session to bring the higher vibrational energy of Spirit into their body as they are being massaged. Assisted stretches can be applied, and the breath can be used to open the body into each stretch.

In a Hawaiian healing session, the client can ask their body to work with them to begin a new pattern of being in the world. They can begin to work with their body in adopting new lifestyle changes that support the healing of their knees and hips.

The practitioner will call in Higher powers to help with the healing of the client. The spirits of nature, the ancestors, the angels, and God/Spirit are all invited to bring their blessings to the healing taking place. The client opens their heart to receive the blessings of these higher powers, and the energy flows from Spirit through the practitioner into the client.

Hawaiian healing helps you make peace with your past, your present and your future by integrating your subconscious trauma from past experiences with your conscious awareness and your own self love in the present moment. It gives you an opportunity to interrupt the patterns of reaction you are repeating, and to make a new choice, a choice that allows you to respond with peace. It gives you an experience of somatic healing by healing the body while you are healing the mind. It can connect you in a deeper way to your own self love, and to the truth of who you really are. All of this can lead to greater self regulation.

As you practice new ways of responding, and you develop more healthy routines, you will find lasting healing and change in your life. This type of treatment can compliment other types of therapy you may be participating in to work on your trauma recovery. I encourage you to keep working on yourself in all ways. The effort will pay off, and you will be rewarded. Trauma recovery takes time, but he learning and growth that comes along with the healing process is very worth the work. When you can begin to self regulate, you will find yourself thriving in all areas of your life and your relationships.

If you'd like to work with me privately, I am available for one on one Lomi sessions in person, or Ho'oponopono sessions in person or via zoom. If you are a practitioner of the healing arts, I would be honoured to teach you what I know, to give you more tools to help your clients. Feel free to reach out to me any time.

I bless you all on your healing journies!

Malama Pono ~ Take Good Care

Written by Patti Miller

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